I cannot wait until I go to college and I'm transferred to the Fig Garden Long's. Why, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. For my money, I would guess that at the Fig Garden Long's, I would not have to deal with the people that frequent the Foothill & A Street Long's that I work at.
I was ringing up this older woman, we'll call her Old Customer, maybe mid-50's, when this middle aged woman, late 30's-ish, we'll call her Middle Aged Woman, walks past her and says, "Go to hell, hag." At first, I don't really think much of it, thinking that perhaps they know each other and it is some bizarre form of a greeting of some sort. Well, I realized just how mistaken I was when the older woman turned around and said, "Oh, you want some you bitch!?!" At which point I stare, slack-jawed at the whole scene. The two continued like this, really for no apparant reason, for a while, getting increasingly louder. I didn't know what to do. It was like some school yard fight: "C'mon, let's bring this outside." "I can take you, you don't even want a piece of this." I had to fight back the urge to laugh, because, honestly, it was a serious sitation. Apparently, Old Customer had been pretty rude to the people back in pharmacy, and Middle Aged Woman was telling her how she should learn to respect people, blah, blah. Eventually, MAW [Middle-Aged Woman] finally walked out. It was pretty bizarre.
However, it paled in comparision to "Creepy Event #2" Allow me set the scene: it was five minutes to closing, we had one cash register left to close, and we just kinda wanted to get home. In walks this old couple, maybe early 70's, and the woman asks if we have any scarves. As per her request, I lead her to the scarves in the cosmetic department. However, she does not want a black scarf [the last of the scarves we have], she wants a "cranberry" scarf. We don't have any. She complains about how we can possibly NOT have scarves ["Do you not realize how chilly it is out there?"] My manager comes up to us, explains that we are closing in a minute, and if the woman would like, she can buy the black scarf at 25% [we REALLY wanted to get outta there.] She agrees, so I lead her to the checkstand. After I finishing ringing her up, she starts in on how tense I look. She proceeds to explain to me about how she used to be a masseuse [sp?] She then grabs my hand, leads me out from behind the cash register, and starts to rub my arm. The whole time, her husband is chatting it up with my coworker, Calvin about how the world is so much more complicated. So, yes, the old woman is massaging me, 2 minutes after 10:00. As if that weren't creepy enough, she picks up a bottle of lighter fluid and, get this, rubs THAT up and down my arms, shoulders, and back. What the fûk is this? Then, her husband gets in on the action. No lie, he walks over and starts to massage my neck. It was horrific. I did not know what to do/say. I mean, the Long's Customer Service Training Session I had to go through in no way prepared me for ex-masseuses armed with lighter fluid. Eventually, they finally left, after many a hint about how late it was [and not without giving a little massage action to Calvin, as well.]
That was, by far, the most random, creepy, bizarre thing that has happened to me at work. And, I'd just thought I'd share it with you all.